3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize