Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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