I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
