I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
