But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
