Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
