so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize