Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
