It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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