No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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