Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
