First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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