3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
