I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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