VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
