the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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