Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
