The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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