woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
