maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
