I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
