whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
