Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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