Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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