did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize