Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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