Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
