I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
