Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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