why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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