And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
