I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
