wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
