your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
