Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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