How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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