I feel great
I just peed on a car
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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