I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
