Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
