No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
