she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
