their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
