Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
