I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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