i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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