Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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