Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
