I wish I only lived at night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
