I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
