I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
