her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
