he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
