You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He better not be in your backpack
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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