Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize