I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize