i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
