I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
