we're chasing vodka with high fives
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
