I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
