Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
