so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
