just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
