Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
