I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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