the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
