How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
