I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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