so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
