you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
