my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize