Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
