What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
