Your face is a jimmy john
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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