the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
