That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
