day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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