It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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