The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
