Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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