Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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