my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
