my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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