Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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