He kissed a someone with a penis
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
