I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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