wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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